thoughts about a former friend

recently (last few months...octoberish)
i had this friend mikey and it's sad because i feel like i'll never have a friend quite like him. i mean...my life isn't stopping without him, but i do miss him.
i feel like arguments with him were kind of stupid. i don't hold grudges and i just think cutting people out of your life is just awkward.
i mean this isn't a letter of apology to him at all. he had a friend he also cut out of his life and she wrote a craigs list thing to him and he was just kind of cold about it.
i miss the kid. i miss what he stood for and what not but he was just not forgiving. not that i really believe that i would need to be forgiven at this point. i sat there and listened to him about the same things over and over and tried to help him. he'd get moody and bitchy like a girl to be frank.
i talked to my friend tempest last night about this and it sounds like she's kind of going through the same thing.
i just miss having a best friend. it's not even that i don't have friends, it's more of everyone's at school. like...really that's what it is. i look at them out at college and almost feel like i missed out. i never wanted to go away to school but i really think about it and i wish i had. i miss being surrounded by friends all the time. i think that's really what you sacrifice and what hurts the most. it's not so much the drinking and not caring, because that really catches up with you if you're not careful and don't play your cards right. it's more or less making those college friends that you keep forever.
whatever i can't change what is. im working and i have to work. i'm supposed to be buying this house by thursday! THURSDAY. i'm terrified.
i guess if i want some success i have to cut out a bit of my social life not that i ever had much of one, i think i just diminished what could have been a careless and fun social life.
luckily i'm learning a little bit about myself so.....yeah
mikey if you're listening-
no need to be a rude S.O.B to me. especially when i have been SO nice to you and attempted to help you out numerous times. it's not like i dial you up ever, so when i ask you an honest question, be a gentleman. unless of course you're not....which i'd understand because when it ended you weren't much of one anyways.
sorry to insult, but it's true.