interesting...

so last night i had the pleasure of hanging out with mikey again and kind of fixed some things. you can't change what's in the past... but you can move forward. it was so nice to sit down with him and hang out. he was always some one that i could talk to and be goofy and he'd totally get what i was saying.
mikey-
i just want you to know again that i love you! you will always be what i consider my best friend. i can only hope you're always in my life. you're just an amazing person. you have the power to inspire and that is something so powerful. i look at you and it's like wow you've changed yourself for the better! it's not a bad thing either, it's like you picked yourself up and put yourself where you wanted to be. i'm so glad we were able to talk and hang out. here's to hopefully hanging out and making more memories.
kind of tired today of course begley woke me up to his stupid games.
memorial day weekend was awesome! it's always a blast to hang out with the fire guys. and get to see the families and what not. i'd definitely like to get to know every one more.
it's nice because lately i feel like i've been able to let go and go do stuff. sigh life is feeling more complete

moviessss

lately brian and i have been going to the movies which has been really nice.. last wednesday we went to see how to train your dragon and i cried...i don't know why i do that!!!
there's this scene where hiccup finds this black dragon they call a night fury which supposedly no one has ever found and they think it's wayyy dangerous- the music during that scene makes me cry evvvvery time for some reason. the song is called "forbidden friendship" by john powell (i look up composers i was raised around a movie score maniac)...but it kills me every time... i tried listening to it without the movie and i still cried. not teared up like cried like a weirdo.
but how to train your dragon is my neeww favorite movie! i LOVE it....go see it.
nothing big going on here...just felting birds for my bird houses...i'm hanging a couple on my wall in the kitchen. i kind of want a woodsy...birdy feel here...i'd like to paint some birds on a canvas... i have soooo many ideas i'd like to execute but soooo little time. unfortunately i have to weed the flower beds tomorrow...and  some how figure out how to fix the mower.
by the way i just can't STAND people who aren't original

it's not supposed to rain but it looks like rain today!

feeling good today
can't say why.


i'm thinking it's because i'm feeling kind of empathetic towards a couple of friends of mine. not that i'd say why here but it really can make you feel grateful for the relationship you have. i really have a good relationship.
i probably need to take some time and realize that i need to be a little more giving. i really felt like i was giving too much for a while so i cooled it. i think i need to kind of start giving again. i ask way too much of brian i think anymore. 


i'd like to see what other succulents gale's garden center has. fudge it i really wanna go for a walk!!!


the girls on is she really going out with him are as idiotic as the guys.


in a very "mr.jones"/"run around" mood.

in the mood to shop

this summer i'd like to be some what stylish...
i haven't spent money on clothes for myself in a loooonnnngg time besides my clothes for work. i feel kinda stupid wanting to buy more clothes but summer always makes me want to change it up.
watching kourtney and khloe take miami... can't stand scott

waiting to go to work...

sigh another work weekend... i'm always dreading them. three days in a row phew!
not that i'm complaining i'm just not a thursday person.
felt like a lot has been done good the past week. my house is pretty much done and organized.
i also paid a lot of bills...
a little tired... sigh..
today, brian, oscar, begley and i took a walk down the street which was pretty cool. oscar being a cane corso tends to be skittish until properly socialized so brian and i have been doing all we can to make him comfortable with the city.
i got to plant a couple things yesterday which was nice. it's sooooo comforting to be outside in your own yard. i also painted some stuff... i pretty much renewed everything i had. i'm starting to feel like black iron things you hang on the walls look cheap for the most part. of course i have a few left over that look nice still. i spray painted a few of them white to match the molding and the appliances. it looks clean. the black iron hangies remind me of college dorms or something. they make everything look nice for the time being but only temporarily. i simply painted the ones i had to match the decorating scheme in my home. i'm pretty okay with the end result. i even painted the blue hand me down filing cabinet white. it looks pretty sharp i think. we spray painted the porch railing basket holder things brown and redid the shower curtain hooks silver for the bathroom.
productive? yes for me i'd like to think so.
sigh house living is SO much better than apartment living.

all is right except one thing-

i just cannot understand how people can lie to themselves and other people about who they are. i almost feel bad for this girl i know. she's just openly mean to everyone around her.

first off i didn't like her from the start at all for personal reasons. it was so strange to me that she was just evil and no one believed me. of course i didn't help the situation because i was rude to her and all, which now i'd take back. i was 16 or 17 at the time. we eventually became "friends"...but she'd always just treat me like i was 5 years old. she's a veryyyyyy condescending person. so i was never happy around her anyway. after going back and forth with the girl liking her and not liking her i had reached a point where i just was content and didn't care either way how she was. i'd just would say "she's just *****." i'd even stand up for her because no one was on her side who cared about the situation.

another shining quality about this person is that she likes to talk about herself A LOT. but recently in the past year, she's gotten worse. she's always quitting this or doing some sort of exercise and i'm pretty damn tired of it.

i understand you want the world to know this or that about yourself. great... say it once or twice, word will travel. people will hear about it. don't talk about it 24 fucking 7. it's obnoxious. whether it's lies or not it'll travel.

another thing. you are not a manager. you are not better than everyone else. stop acting like you are on this high horse that no one else can get up on. stop being so rude and mean to everyone at the store who isn't paying you. what gives you the right? it's a funny thing how i have no problem with the dishwashers or pizza makers or anything like that. respect them and they'll respect you. try asking them and not telling them. try asking me and not telling me. that was one of the very first problems i had with you. you don't like people who don't pay you to tell you what to do, why should we? why should we put up with your bullshit? what makes you so special that we have to put up with your bullshit and you don't have to put up with ours? it's not because you're an "adult". adults know how to respect others in the work place. adults can hold decent relationships and respect the person they're with. adults realize that you really cannot have your cake and eat it too when it comes to work. you gain respect and you gain more responsibility by attending work. sometimes you have to choose work over life. that's just the way it is.

i'd say the only adult thing about you is you not talking behind everyone's back...but.... you do. you're just as bad as all of us. you're human... realize it. you are just as bad if not worse at talking bad about people. you're more judgmental than the most of us. tell me... why is it that us venting about you is bad and you venting about us is good? you're not a family member and you will never be. deal with it. i hope you leave soon because i cannot stand you. i don't even want to be your friend. 

you're just big fake.

a little snot nose brat. you're not adult. if you are than i don't want to be one. i want to be a kid forever.

Haven't blogged in a while

sooooo excited about my refund....hopefully... i think i should be... of course i can't leak how much i'm receiving...
freezing... i woke up this morning and it's SNOWING... i HATE the snow when it's been 80* outside already... i'm praying my raspberries don't die and my tulips and what not... i JUST planted them all...
so apparently i'm going to hungary and paris? yeah interesting development... july 10-21...i just hope i have enough phone service to talk to bri...
still feel kinda shitty...

oh my god david o'hara's a babe..